As much as I await and adore Halloween, as much as I relish and savor Thanksgiving, as much as I swoon and smile for Christmas, this particular portion of our 365 trip around the sun just might be my favorite. The potential, the ambition, the planning, the hope. A New Year. I’m reminded of my favorite quote from musical theatre:
“White. A blank page or canvas. His favorite. So many possibilities.” – Sunday in the Park with George
This is everything. A clean slate. Potential energy. An annual invitation to become the person you were destined to be. If you missed the party last year, the New Year’s Fairy doesn’t care how many times you decline, the invitation arrives again and this time you RSVP. This year, 2014, I plan to attend that party. I am especially energized.
Maybe it’s because I say goodbye to my 20’s this year. Maybe it’s because I get married this year. These two rather significant rites of passage have me at once mourning a chapter of my life coming to an end: my roaring 20’s, my life as a bachelorette; and yet prepared to say goodbye as I embark upon richer seas. I look forward to the added accountability that comes with being thirty-something. I look forward to being taken a bit more seriously. I can’t wait to be someone’s wife. To have my own beloved. A guaranteed partner in life’s adventures. Brad and I have been together for 6 years and the past few of those years have felt pretty darn close to marriage, but they weren’t. It’s different. This is a topic for an entirely different post, but through being engaged and planning a wedding I’ve discovered that the piece of paper matters.
I want to be more truthful this year. I want to write more truthfully. I need to get at the heart of myself. This blog helps with that. I appreciate Facebook in that I get to stay in touch with people I care about who I otherwise wouldn’t connect with for months at a time due to geographical realities and my fear of the telephone. I also appreciate that it gives everyone the opportunity to project the ideal version of themselves out into the ether; but we must remember that it is just that: a version. Life is at times messy, complicated, and painful. We all log on to Facebook and get the impression that everyone else we know is doing just fine, great actually, thriving. We’re comparing ourselves, warts and all, to everyone else’s highlights; and rest assured they are doing the same with us. I respect a place that allows us to create an ideal picture of ourselves. There’s value in that. But it’s the messiness and the pain that bonds us in empathy and compassion, and Facebook isn’t the place for that. This is why we need art. It’s not perfectly manicured and edited. It’s a truth, warts and all. I need more truth, from myself and others. I plan to immerse myself much more creatively this year and I plan to articulate my life, messy parts included, either here on this blog or in my own personal journal. It will be documented so years from now when my great great great grandchildren research the life of Rebecca Marie Sigl, they’ll see all the truth that was underneath that Facebook page.
In the past few years I have been dancing around a sleeping dragon which I alluded to previously. In 2013 that damned dragon woke up and it was fight or flight. I’ve been fighting. The battle isn’t won yet but I am pretty damn close to slaying that dragon. I apologize for speaking entirely in metaphors but details will come. Let’s just say the dragon is almost lost and I look forward to exploring the castle beyond. What riches might it hold?
2014 is going to be quite a party. How does one plan for such an event? With resolutions of course. They are the party dress we wear out into the world. The rate at which resolutions get thrown out the window by February 1st has many people poo-pooing the entire notion, but I for one am entirely pro-resolution. This year I take a different tack. In the past I’ve focused on one main goal but my sights are bigger now and I can’t repress them. I’m just so damned excited about the future that I’m going to set as many resolutions as I want and I’m going to kick their butts. Because I am taking 2014 by the horns, damnit, and I am going to mold it into the life that I want to live. And I’m going to start right now. So here they are, my myriad of resolutions for 2014. I plan on doing every single one of them. I’ll keep you posted.
- Be more creative
- Read 52 books in 52 weeks
- Paint monthly
- Take a drawing class
- Never leave dirty dishes in the sink
- Make bed every day
- Clean kitty box every day
- Purge unwanted clothes/things
- Run 4 times a week
- Write one new story a month
- Don’t give up on strength training
- “Do” my hair at least once a week
- Save money for the future, build up that nest egg
- Make my lunch for work 3 times a week
- Eat breakfast everyday
- Pay off credit cards
- Lose 15 pounds
- Be kind to everyone
- Say no to fear and anxiety
- Write in my blog at least once a week!
- Acting. Decide what I want to do about it.
- Be efficient at work.
- Reduce time-sucky Facebook usage
- Clutter clear and clean our apartment
- Run 4 half marathons
- Sign up for a full marathon
- Make one new Whimsy Do creation a week
- Get married
- Have faith…
What are your new year’s resolutions. What is your outlook on the new year? Please share by commenting below.