I picked up my wedding dress yesterday. It hangs in my closet like a quiet animated thing. It’s as if life sits in it, waiting to be breathed into motion 35 days from now. When I tried it on yesterday in my final fitting, I felt like I had slinked into a missing layer of skin. I stood there looking in the mirror and felt not like a princess, but like a princess about to become a queen. And that is exactly how every person should feel on their wedding day. Like they are transcending into a regal elevated version of themself. It’s an important role to play, and every role needs the perfect costume. This dress, oh this dress.
This major milestone is so near in the road ahead, it’s practically the next turnoff. It has consumed so much of my mind that it has almost overshadowed another rather major milestone in my life. Almost.
I’m turning 30 on June 18.
I know to most of my friends and family the general response to that is, “oh you’re still so young!” and that’s true. I am. Turning 30 is not a big deal in the sense that it makes me feel old. I’m not. It doesn’t. But that doesn’t detract from its gravity. When I moved to L.A. 8 years ago, I would occasionally look down the road at the big 3-0 and I thought I saw many things in my future. I thought I would be working full time as an actor or, ooooh, famous. I thought I would be in the possession of much money. I thought I might be out of debt. I remember, at 22, having a conversation about the biz with an agent I was interning for at the time. She was talking about pursuing the career of acting and patience and how it might not happen for me “until I was 30.” Thirty?!?! I thought to myself. She must be crazy!
I think back to those musings of my 22 year old self and all I can do is smile, because I don’t have any of those things that I thought I would have. I don’t really want any of them (well, except for the money and get-out-of-debt thing. That woulda been great). I have so much more than my little 22 year old mind could have imagined. I have a love. The love of my life. A love that nurtures me and teaches me and gives me faith and purpose. I have a job. A job that gives my life meaning. A job that makes me proud to work every day even though I’m not quite on the fast track to pay off those college loans.
And I have art. I have a theatre company. I’m a part of a community of artists that I have to remind myself I’m worthy of. I have a little corner in Los Angeles that I belong to. A lens through which I can gaze out at this sprawling city with pride and love. It’s such an honor to have a community like that.
So on this, the week of my 30th birthday, I only want to celebrate by saying thank you. After my trip down the aisle, I’ll make my way back to Los Angeles (by way of Sedona, yay mini-moon!), and I’ll step into the role of producer for an upcoming show at Theatre of NOTE. I’m going to make a play happen, and it’s going to be awesome. The only thing I could ever ask for on my 30th birthday is for your tiny bit of help.
I’ve recently been blessed with an amazing fundraising producer who is going to take the reigns on gathering the juice to make this play puppy run. (Thank you Kirsten!) Before she works her fundraising magic, I did have one trick up my sleeve, and that’s to host a birthday fundraiser. Since I wont for nothing in terms of gifts, material or emotional, all I can ask for on my birthday is your small contribution to make this play happen. Here is the link to my online fundraiser.
I have a modest goal of raising the first $1000 of the budget. We need a lot more than that, but $1000 will get the ball rolling. If any little part of you would like to send me a birthday gift, I would be so grateful.
Here’s to major milestones! Here’s to thirty years of living! And here’s to THEATRE!!
Some of my favorite moments of NOTE:
And the Crowdrise link again:
And again 🙂