i am not afraid to run you over with my bicycle

I have pet peeves. I do. I am a fan of rules that are rules for a reason, and when people break those rules because they are idiots or just don’t care, I have a problem with it. Especially if a rule is in place for safety. To blatantly ignore that rule is selfish, inane, dangerous, and just plain annoying. I can’t help but think that the world would be a better place if everyone followed the frickin’ rules. If people actually followed the laws of merging and sharing the road, we would have considerably less traffic and traffic accidents. If people with more than 15 items didn’t sneak into the Express Line at the grocery store, it would actually function to its purpose. If assholes didn’t steal the disabled parking for “just a couple of minutes” then folks with real disabilities would not have their days ruined. And if people on foot did not somehow feel it was acceptable to walk or run in the bike lane, then I wouldn’t be compelled to run you over with my bicycle.

Don’t get me wrong, some rules are meant to be broken. There are plenty of laws and regulations out there put in place by some useless governing body, seemingly just for the purpose of giving people tickets to bring in more revenue, or just because they don’t have anything better to do. Those are not the types of rules I want to talk about today. Today, let’s focus on guidelines and regulations that are in place for good reason. Now that that’s clear, let’s get on with it.

When it comes to fitness, first and foremost I am a runner. I am an outdoor runner. Judging from the fact that I am running to Tahiti, I think it’s safe to say that I LOVE running. I have sympathies for runners and the challenges we face against the elements. Recently, however, I’ve quite enjoyed a spin on the old bicycle every now and again. Brad got me a beautiful new bike for Christmas. We live in a very bicycle friendly part of Venice/Santa Monica so naturally we try to cruise from place to place as often as possible. It’s so wonderful to have even less of a need to get in my car. I now ride my bike to the gym, to the grocery store, to my friend’s houses who live in the area, it’s simply awesome. I wish all of L.A. was as bike friendly as the beach cities. Today I’d like to talk about a little thing called the bike trail. Did you hear what I said? The BIKE trail. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t think I said the running trail or the walking trail, or the sit down and watch the sunset trail. It’s called the bicycle trail, people.

the path of which I speak


I run in Venice all the time. I get it. Like I said, I have sympathy. There is not an ideal running route down Venice beach. Your options are the stinky, crazy, strand, or the beach itself on the sand. I’m sorry but those are your options. If you don’t like them, run in Santa Monica. The bike lane is NOT AN OPTION so get off of it! This is such a huge pet peeve of mine. It’s a narrow two-lane route and when you, obnoxious person walking hand in hand with your sweetheart and stopping every few feet to stare at the ocean, clog it up, please do not get upset when I clip your ankles with my Schwinn, perhaps intentionally.

maybe people just can't read?

The kicker is when the pedestrian walkway isn’t even crowded, and it’s literally five feet to the east, and people STILL choose to walk and run on the BIKE trail. I really don’t get it? Can someone explain this to me? And hey, local police enforcement, where are you? I thought the city was broke? Don’t you need revenue? Why don’t you stop giving people tickets for going over the speed limit by 2 miles and start nailing these jerks who are essentially making bicycle transportation impossible in Venice. Please friends, if you find yourselves visiting Venice beach this summer, do not let me catch you walking or running on the bike trail. Brad calls me his little meter maid for a reason. I will so go vigilante bike cop on you and I will not feel bad about it.